enlightment.

I always tell myself to get my self “working” in a accordance with the plans I have set out. Most of the time, this to-do-thing is super beneficial when I’m haunted by promptitude evils and no procrastinating tag line.

But what comes after that?

I’m scared… I’m scared that I have to plan everything ahead of things and course of nature. More or less this mind set have construed my every judgements and have hurt some sets of people (which I’m sincerely apologize for). I made a mistake, that I know, it came merely from my standards. I have a “love and hate relationship” with standards, most of the time it strikes me in the back. 

Call this matter, being perfectionist though I’m far away beyond.

More than once I felt lost, why? Because there are too many thoughts, plans, and look-aheads in this very brain - which have derailed everything, I mean everything.

I’m infused with my own thoughts.

I’ve spent all summer days driving
I’m tired of holidays ruined
No more take-away’s, expired food
I need a real day
Time runs faster when you’re loaded
Bright lights blind me all weak
Living in the city, I’m a high-speed drill
I need a full day diving
Tons of heavyweight food
Roosters from the sister islands too
I’d better get working
I’m bored with all that brainwashing
Let’s break all separate rooms
Changing’s no fun if you don’t want to
I need a good day sailing
To tell the sun and the moon
That I am turning for no reasons too
And I keep waiting
Driving to the gas station
Caught by a traffic jam blues
Life is nonsense, I don’t have a clue
I need a cool day riding
Feeding all the horses at dawn
Searching for the truffles, going through the woods
Then I’ll be waiting

just when every matters contradicts  with your every judgments, that is when your inner energy will wear off.

you lose focus,

mood,

and the sense of “everything is going to be alright”

Please, please, please, let all be alright in time

assessing mind’s capability beyond capacity?

though thousand miles feels like a phone call away, none would subdue a comforting sound of home. skycrapers, blue skies, and all that jazz of excitements, would wear out eventually and basically the long of home will twirl around like merry christmas.